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        中华人民共和国公安部全国公安文学艺术联合会 主办  中国社会主义文艺学会法治文艺中心协办

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        土地爷送锦旗(天津快板)

        来源:网投 作者:赵鹏

         

        提起天津快板,

        是传统曲艺,

        天津方言天津事儿您听着挺俏皮。

        哎,您瞧这仨人儿,

        那打扮挺出奇,

        长袍大袖穿身上那手里还拿着锦旗。

        细这么一打听,

        原来是三方土地,

        这土地爷送锦旗稀奇不稀奇?

        列为稳坐,

        听我说仔细,

        这段拟人化故事您听着准解气。

         

        哎,我先说几句,

        我是社区土地,

        掌管着家庭住宅居民小区。

        可就有那个别人,

        自私自利,

        安装地锁占车位还私搭滥盖起。

        您瞧吧,小区遍布绊马索出行多不易吧,

        侵占消防通道,

        隐患沉积,

        一旦发生火灾那后悔来不及。

        哎,咱们天津出台,

        《文明条例》,

        责任落实行动有力效率全面提,

        因此我来送锦旗是表达谢意。

         

        老哥介绍完,

        再听我详细说起,

        我这个土地在咱们乡村郊区,

        掌管着宝贵的农业耕地。

        可有这一伙人呀,

        竟搞猫腻,

        在貌似农业大棚设施里建起休闲区,

        改变农业用途,

        挑衅国家法律,

        危害十八亿亩耕地红线忘乎所以。

        政法部门,

        展开专项治理,

        切实做到查清问题、落实责任、整改到位,严守耕地和永久基本农田红线,维护良好的土地管理秩序。

        按照《土地管理法》,

        退还耕地,

        有法可依保证了我这土地爷才不再受人欺。

        所以我今天来这里,

        送上一面锦旗,

        以后这个《土地法》我得天天学习。

         

        你们都说完,

        轮到我来把话提,

        不觉心里委屈我两眼泪悲啼。

        我掌管建设用地,

        被人长期占据,

        违建对外出租,

        没有任何审批,

        每年捞取几百万的非法暴利。

        我是有苦说不出,

        不敢喘大气,

        任凭这个小子上脸又登鼻。

        他撇赤啦嘴,

        身上纹着俩带鱼,

        属螃蟹的走道他竟往横处移。

        哥我见过大风雨,

        绝不吹牛皮,

        城隍庙的土地爷她是我二姨。(这还不吹牛皮呢?)

        公安果断亮剑,

        一举斩获顽愚,

        破网打伞连根拔除黑恶势力。

        把涉嫌多起聚众斗殴、寻衅滋事、故意伤害、敲诈勒索的犯罪团伙来了个一勺烩,没有漏网之鱼。

        党和人民来撑腰,

        蚍蜉撼树谈何易,

        任何违法犯罪都让它崴泥。

         

        这虽然是神话,

        可都来自实际,

        天津聚焦土地领域违法犯罪要重拳出击,

        赢得百姓满意。

         

         微信图片_20190826103318.jpg

        作者简介:赵鹏,笔名启贺、老鹤。供职于天津市公安局河西分局越秀路派出所。自幼酷爱曲艺,利用业余时间学习钻研相声、快板艺术。师从快板名家郑文昆先生、相声名家王佩元先生、小品相声作家刘凯先生,并成为曲艺理论家薛宝琨先生的入室弟子。曾有幸得到相声名家马志明先生指教。公安部文联曲艺委员会理事。多年来,撰写了多篇关于相声、快板赏析、理论的文章,并在全国刊物上发表。

         

         

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